7 Overlooked Symptoms of ADD and ADHD in Women You Need to Know
We work all day from the moment we get up.
We work to rally everyone out the door.
To make it through the day.
To not make a complete fool of ourselves.
We work to wrap it up in time at night.
The list is never-ending.
Maybe it’s just me, but being a woman with ADHD is a lot like trying to herd cats…
in the dark, with a flashlight that keeps short circuiting.
In this article, you’ll learn seven frequently overlooked symptoms that affect many women* with ADHD (formerly ‘ADD’).
Plus, I’m sharing strategies that have worked for me both as a former teacher and still as a mom who is managing.
Managing all the things.
TL;DR
ADHD inattentive type is the most common type for women (*and those assigned female at birth)
- It used to be called ADD, but is essentially the same thing
- There are three types of ADHD (hyperactive, inattentive, and combination)
- The seven main symptoms I’ll address from personal experience and others I follow, are:
- Emotional dysregulation
- Chronic overwhelm
- Disorganization
- Sensory overload
- Exhaustion
- Forgetfulness
- Perfectionism
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Understanding ADD vs ADHD
If you're researching symptoms in women, you might wonder about these terms.
ADD (attention deficit disorder) is an outdated term that's no longer used.
Today, everything falls under ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
There are three main types:
- Hyperactive: The most well-known ‘driven by a motor' presentation
- Inattentive: Formerly called ADD, the hyperactivity is still present but it's more internalized
- Combination: Shows clear traits of both types
For women, especially those of us diagnosed later in life, inattentive is the most common type.
Inattentive ADHD often involves more daydreaming and trouble focusing.
There's often racing thoughts, internal restlessness, and difficulty prioritizing tasks.
This is one of the reasons it can get overlooked or misdiagnosed.
It is harder to ‘see' internalized angst even if it is equally disruptive for the person.
There are other reasons, too, including:
- gender bias and lack of research
- the role that society plays in shaping gender norms
- the overlap ADHD symptoms have with other frequently-diagnosed conditions like depression or anxiety
- the comorbidity ADHD has with other conditions
- our high level of ability in masking symptoms in order to fly under the radar or to fit in
The diagnostic term ‘ADHD' isn't my favorite as it doesn't accurately describe the experience.
It's not that we aren't ‘paying attention.'
Instead like with all ADHD, it's that we can't consistently control what we are noticing.
In other words it's the regulation of the attention that's kind of spotty.
Seven Common Symptoms of ADHD in Women
Let’s look at some symptoms many women with ADHD experience, starting with one that can hit hard.
Yet many doctors fail to recognize.
1. Emotional Dysregulation
Picture this all-too-familiar scenario.
It’s been one of those mornings.
Your alarm clock didn’t go off on time.
(Okay, you may have also hit the snooze button a little too zestfully.)
So you speed through the kids' breakfast, prepping lunches, and zip out the door.
You're already running late but you can still pull things together in time.
Your adrenaline is pumping as you pull into the parking lot.
You dump your belongings in your classroom and think, okay, I got this.
But as you repeatedly tap on the copier down the hall, you see the dreaded error light pop up.
In addition to being in knots, your stomach is now grumbling because you spaced eating your own breakfast.
This is not going like you'd hoped.
I know that when I’ve been in this situation, it’s at this moment that things can go terribly wrong.
Feelings of fear, sadness, and shame start to shift under the surface like tectonic plates.
After muttering some choice words under my breath, I move from the third printer that finally worked and into my room.
Finally ready to get things in order. I take a breath.
Just as I open the computer to refresh my tabs, the phone rings.
Oh, no.
One of my kids is sick.
Again.
And that, my friend, was the straw that finally broke my back.
2. Chronic overwhelm
If my emotions were a bit softer around the edges, it could maybe prevent the freeze response which ensues.
But that’s not how ADHD works, is it?
Once the subs have been found and the doctors have been notified.
And my bandwidth is just barely hanging on.
It's now my inability to decide what to do next that is showing up.
Familiar feelings of lack of agency.
Analysis paralysis tip toes up to me, sniffs, turns around, and settles in for the night.
Exhaling its well-known stench.
When you’re constantly overwhelmed, these kinds of extra unplanned-for (uncalled for) events are…
Unsettling. Aggravating. Debilitating.
Thus making getting and staying organized in any area that much harder.
3. Disorganization
As a (now former) teacher and a (still going strong) mom, organization is probably the most impactful trait I've noticed.
As a music teacher I normally had over 20 classes, each with around 20 students.
Most years equated to anywhere from six to seven grade levels, each with eight sections (groups) of kids.
Each with their own developmentally-appropriate curricula.
With their own programs we prepared for.
In general I was able to stay pretty organized in some ways, especially in regards to performances.
As a performer myself, I truly enjoyed organizing and directing programs!
But other things were ridiculously challenging.
Taking notes after each class for example?
Difficult when there’s literally no time.
Challenging to read, absorb, and apply ahead of time.
This along with working memory challenges made it tricky to remember where each class was in the lesson.
4. Sensory overload
If you're a teacher in a traditional school setting especially, you know the feeling of being put on the front lines.
You're there all day long with other people’s kids, doing your best.
Spending more time with them than your own family.
And that’s a lot of energy to deal with, in all aspects.
In terms of sensory input, it's a constant barrage of sounds, lights, and scents.
Hitting sensory overwhelm is what inevitably happens.
5. Exhaustion
The consequence of working incredibly hard for days on end.
When I can’t get enough alone time to decompress.
When I can’t sleep enough because of all the things still to do.
Welcome to exhaustion and sometimes burnout.
This makes basic memory tasks harder to achieve.
6. Forgetfulness
Are you someone who forgets where they put their keys?
Or do you forget to water the plants?
Towards the end of the week, as I got more exhausted, I’d be more likely to forget things.
Such as my lunch, for example.
And then be forced to scrummage for random snacks.
There’s only so many blueberry bars a person can stand, amiright?
Perhaps as a way to compensate for this tendency to forget things, we may develop another trait.
7. Perfectionism
I've heard people discuss perfectionism as a coping mechanism.
This makes a lot of sense to me.
If you consider the definition as wanting something to be a certain way;
not necessarily making (or being able to make) things that way.
So it could be something like feeling badly that my lesson planning process wasn’t Pinterest-worthy.
Even if it worked for me and my students.
So, what do you get stuck on wanting to be a certain way?
Strategies That work
Now we've looked at what can be highly challenging.
Let’s turn now to see what can actually help!
Speechify for Engaging and Versatile Text to Speech
I absolutely love using Speechify to help me listen to and absorb various texts.
There's a couple things that set it apart from other similar tools.
One is the number of voices you have to choose between.
You can choose accents that you like to listen to. Admittedly, the British ones are some of my faves.
You can even choose certain celebrities to read to you.
(I may get Snoop Dog to read this back to me later!)
I also appreciate how practical it is.
No matter where I am, I can still use it.
It works on iPhone as well as Android devices.
Let's say you're scrolling and find an article you like.
You can ‘share' it (upload) to the app on your phone. With this icon on the bottom center.
And directly upload it to the app to read it for you.
You can also copy the link, paste it, and away you go!
And you can use it on your desktop and install it as an extension.
It will read your Google docs to you.
Or you can copy and paste text directly into it.
There is a free version.
But if you do a lot of reading, or want to store multiple documents, consider upgrading.
If you'd like to give it a try, here is my link for $60 off!
Creating Memory Supports
I would make several copies of my class schedule.
I’d put them everywhere!
By the door, as a picture on my phone, in my backpack, on the fridge at home.
That way I was always close enough to a copy so I could check who I was picking up.
Simplifying Systems
Using my full binder with all 25 seating charts made me feel inefficient as I sifted through looking for someone's name.
So I would only pull that day’s charts and keep them on a clipboard.
That way I had them, in order, and could flip through to see which class was next.
Communication Boundaries
You probably know that written communication is an aid for nd people?
It is a good tool to keep in mind.
Getting meeting notes or slides ahead of time.
Or using Speechify to read through them afterwards.
For my part I knew, too, how problematic email could be for other ‘political' reasons.
So I would send short, focused emails when necessary.
And invite someone to set up an appointment if they had something else to discuss.
Permission to Adapt
I gave myself permission to use whatever tools and systems worked for me.
If that meant using an app to remember daily classroom set up steps?
That was okay.
It was also going to be okay if I (or when I) needed to tweak the systems.
One, because ADHD makes it easy to get bored and tired of a routine.
And two, because there’s always room for improvement.
Moving Forward
These strategies aren't perfect, but they don't need to be.
What matters is finding what works for you.
And then giving yourself permission to use it!
It’s also about finding your tribe as a neurodivergent teacher.
If you're a neurodivergent teacher, parent, or caregiver reading this, please know that you're not alone.
Your struggles aren't character flaws or moral failings.
They're legitimate challenges that deserve acknowledgment and support.
Remember that we are EXCELLENT at what we do.
Our experiences help us relate to all students, including the nd population.
Want to Connect with Other Neurodivergent Teachers Who Get It?
We share strategies and support each other in a safe space.
See ya there?
Want to Learn More About ADHD in Women?
Check out Sari Solden's Women with Attention-Deficit Disorder.
Another excellent choice is her book with Michelle Frank, A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD.
I have both of these in paperback.
That's how good they are!
Haven't listened to the Audible version yet, but am linking those because it is likely more useful for you.
