How Somatic Experiencing Builds Boundaries for Teachers with ADHD and Autism

You know that feeling when you're teaching and suddenly realize you've been holding your breath?

Or when you get home after a particularly long, loud day in the classroom.

And your shoulders are aching?

They've been practically glued to your ears so long you even forgot that they could feel any differently.

I used to think this was just part of the job.

(And it was part of the job, for me.)

Turns out, though, there's a lot to know and learn about how our bodies store trauma.

Thankfully for me, I discovered somatics experiencing about three years ago.

Somatic experiencing boundaries work has been a large part of my healing journey.

If you're also late-diagnosed with ADHD or autism, you owe it to yourself to learn more.

How Somatic Experiencing Helps to Heal Trauma

Three years ago, I started working with a somatic experiencing practitioner.

Talk therapy had been helpful only up to a certain point, and I had started hearing about body-based healing.

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D., was my first formal introduction, but it all made sense.

With my practioner as my guide, I was able to start observing my body and nervous system with a neutral lens.

What Is Somatic Experiencing

Having already completed many years with traditional talk therapists, this was new territory for me.

It isn't coming into an office and verbally exploring reasons for behaviors, thoughts, and emotions.

This kind of work is about really listening to your body.

Of course, emotions are also a huge part of this, at least for me.

And you might decide to share details of a painful event, but it's not actually necessary for the healing process.

The difference is that you are tracking how they feel, how things shift and change.

So many late-diagnosed adults with ADHD or autism, or sensory processing differences, carry pain.

There's emotional pain from feeling misunderstood, missed opportunities, and healing from possibly bullying.

Many of us, like me, also tend to have somatic complaints (headaches, etc.), which can be related.

Understanding Physical Boundaries Through Somatic Work

Working with my practitioner has taught me something fascinating about boundaries.

We think of boundaries as intellectual concepts, but they're also quite physical.

Your skin is your first boundary.

It's literally where you end and the world begins.

But for those of us who spent most of our lives masking, things can feel more complicated than that.

How to Learn Body Awareness and Nervous System Regulation

Somatic experiencing therapy has given me a space to even ask myself, do I want to notice this now?

For me, this has meant being honest with myself.

A lot of the time, for example, I really don't want to sit with unpleasant sensations. And that is okay.

But also not pressuring myself to push through something. Or to heal faster.

That is actually counter-productive in this kind of work.

My practitioner talks about small ripples of change. It is a subtle, slow, gentle process.

Difficult for people like me who aren't naturally patient with myself.

My 3-Year Somatic Therapy Journey: What to Expect

Through practices like noticing, anchoring, grounding, I expanded my toolsets.

I developed a richer vocabulary for describing sensations.

Not just dull, sharp, or achy.

But visuals, textures, sounds, colors might even come to mind.

It also has meant noticing any areas that are neutral or even pleasant feeling.

And noticing how I feel about noticing that.

Honestly, noticing the neutral or pleasant feelings has been more challenging for me.

But that is common when you've spent a long time in fight or flight.

Why Neurodivergent Teachers Need Nervous System Support

Honestly I feel like most people would benefit from this type of work.

But spending most of your life undiagnosed is traumatic.

Teachers have such an important job and usually not enough resources to support them.

Teachers with ADHD, autism, AuDHD, sensory needs, have the extra task of working in an uncomfortable system.

Schools are not designed for neurodivergent students, or staff.

So it takes a lot more effort to complete the same requirements at the desired level of quality.

Of course these are generalizations and there's a lot more to add about specifics.

But for the purpose of this post, those are some of the basic principles.

Practical Somatic Experiencing Boundaries for Teachers

Here are some of the techniques I learned and took to work with me.

• Entering the building and noticing how my body felt differently, if at all
  • If I did notice differences, being curious about them
  • Asking myself, how do I know?
  • Wondering, where does that show up? (e.g., chest or throat for example)
    
• Guppy breaths
  • Incremental, gentle, slow opening and closing of the jaw
  • Useful for gentle regulation
  • Noticing what changes in my body afterwards
  • Can work well during daily transitions
    
• Arm squeezes
  • Gently squeezing forearms, upper arms
  • Noticing what shifts or changes
    
• Orienting and Anchoring
  • Gazing around the space I'm in
  • Slowly rotating my head (not fast)
  • Seeing if there is a certain object that ‘calls my attention'
  • Observing it long enough to notice what is interesting about it
    • shapes, textures, other
  • Noticing where I feel that neutral or pleasant sensation
  • Mentally calling that object to mind as needed throughout the day
    • aids in emotional regulation

Getting Started with Somatics Experiencing

Again, with this kind of work you really aren't trying to rush or push through.

You're not trying to complete something fast to check a box.

It's about learning how to slow down.

Notice the impulses your body may have to move a certain way.

And following those to the extent possible, but in a slow and controlled way.

This allows you to help your nervous system release any blocked stress or trauma responses.

If you notice the urge to stretch your arms up and back, doing that slowly enough that you can observe shifts.

Or, in one of the somatics experiencing boundaries exercises I've done, pushing by arms away and flexing wrists.

Noticing how it feels to hold my arms in that position. Does it feel comfortable and pleasant, or not?

Attachment theory also plays a role in this. As does our immediate family upbringing.

If you grew up feeling like you had to hide or blend in for your safety, you might have a harder time holding boundaries as an adult.

These are all things I've learned in my work, but you would need to find what is true for you.

How to Learn More about Somatic Experiencing

I'm linking to some valuable resources for you.

You can visit traumahealing.org for more information about the approach as a whole.

If you're looking to talk to an amazing practitioner about getting started, look up Desiree Cafaro of Rooted Wellness & Pilates.

Desiree's studio is Located in Charlottesville, Virginia, but she also offers virtual sessions.

You can reach her through her website linked above. Definitely recommend!

Setting Realistic Expectations for Somatic Therapy Benefits

Somatic experiencing isn't magic.

It's not going to make your job less demanding or your sensory sensitivities disappear.

But what it has done for me, anyway, is helped me to build capacity.

So when the inevitable stressors occur, it is easier for me to come back to a regulated state.

It's helped me feel more space, to build capacity.

It's helped me to better understand my boundaries.

That connection to ourselves is the most valuable lesson of all.